Parenting During a Pandemic

If parenting didn’t already present enough challenges, the pandemic threw a wrench into the routines and lives of many families with members who have intellectual or developmental disabilities. Parenting children during the past year and a half has meant adapting to rapid changes in childcare, schoolwork, and family life. Some are still worried about the future, but some have found reasons to celebrate as well.

John Durham’s son Logan was a preschooler when the pandemic began and described the experience as whiplash. “One minute your son is in school or day care and the next day, he’s not,” said Durham. “That was difficult. Childcare was a big problem.”

Durham, a single parent, also learned how to become more of an advocate. He took caregiver training and learned more about his son’s schooling and speech therapy, finding ways to engage with his son during Zoom classes. He had to learn about family leave and the ways the government can better advocate for families when a crisis arises.

“I’m motivated now, and I understand that void, that gap and what I would need to do to fill that. It’s for my baby,” said Durham.

Crystal Michelbook-Eccles has two adult sons, Jerehmey and Nick, who usually hone their track skills during the warm weather and their basketball skills during the winter months. Both sports are run through Projectid and were put on pause last year during the pandemic.

“They were able to do basketball last year before everything changed. They enjoy that activity and now it’s gone for them,” said Michelbook-Eccles.

The brothers have been keeping fairly busy with either work or classes, but the fun of making friends on a team has been noticeably missing from the routine over the past year.

“It gives them something to do and they’ve met so many people,” said Michelbook-Eccles. But she also indicated that while the family is looking forward to cheering them on, she worries about their interest after a year without their hobbies.

For many parents, the pandemic was a time of strain, but for the Childs family, one of the biggest transitions that occurred in the past year was one of personal fulfillment and pride.

Jacob Childs moved into his own apartment in March 2020. “His place came up kind of suddenly, and we didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity,” said his mom, Karla Childs. “Jake might not have been totally wanting to go at the time, and then the pandemic hit. I think now he really likes it. Four nights a week, he hangs out with us, and his three days off, he likes to just chill by himself.”

Mother and son also shared the bonding experience of being laid off at the same time. As an employee of The Arc’s Thrift Store, Jacob was laid off for six weeks when it had to close summer of 2020. His mother’s unemployment lasted closer to a year.

“The week after I got laid off, I moved into my new place,” said Jacob.

Though the transition came at a strange time for the family, the move wound up being a bright spot in a time defined by the unknown. And with more places opening up, the Childs family is relieved to begin to return to their pastimes, and for Jacob and Karla, that means going to the movies.

With guidelines changing once again, it's been a time of reflection for Karla about Jacob's growth during the past year. “COVID didn’t have anything to do with him moving out, but that was a good thing that came during that year. I think it’s everybody’s goal to have their kids be independent.

It was a huge step for Jake. Just seeing his independence blossom has really made me and his dad really proud.”